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"Thank God, for I have come to the right place. Gentlemen, I require your assistance in a matter of the greatest delicacy." Welcome to Baker Street, Lord Palmerston," Holmes began with a twist of a smile curling the corner of his mouth. "As you can see, Watson and I have both intuited your identity, if not your purpose, so if you would be more comfortable you may remove that ridiculous false moustache and wig." I should have known better," the man said, abashed. "But the disguise was more to protect my identity from those who may watch the door of the world's greatest detective than from the man himself."Holmes preened at the flattery as our guest peeled off his moustache and hair, revealing a clean-shaven face and blond features that indeed looked nothing at all like the man who ascended our stair."If you will humour me, Mr Holmes," he continued. "I have read Dr Watson's accounts of your cases with great interest and I am curious as to your methods. Would you enlighten me as to how. Then he got a new job. When he told me I dared him to push my limits, he was the kind of man who couldn’t resist a challenge. It was his last night of work and he knew he was out of chances. He’d been laying it on thick all night, bringing me chocolate, complementing every feature he noticed, hovering; he knew I wanted him to cross that line but he was playing with me.Then, coming down the hall he walked up beside me, leaned in close and whispered “I could grab your ass and bend you over right here, right now, and fuck-you-hard”. It was like one of those lines you read about in porn but no man ever says to you in a public place - he said it. I was speechless, my nipples were hard, and he had my full attention. Then, he walked away. Timing, fucking musos. Did I mention he plays guitar? Perfect timing. He lasted about 5 minutes before he came back for more, he said something interesting I’m sure, then led me into a corner where said he wanted to kiss me. I hesitated because up.
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